The power of intentional listening

"Listening at its best is both focused and unbiased."

Gerard Egan² 

Though much in demand, and an essential element of executive presence, intentional listening can be an elusive leadership skill. 

Giving your full attention to a conversation is hard. The mind gets distracted, we multi-task, focus on formulating a reply or habitually bring the discussion back to us. We all fall into the traps of poor communication, leading to misunderstandings and opportunities lost. 

Intentional listening at a glance

Intentional listening is active and inclusive 

Great leaders listen intentionally by being genuinely present and sustaining focused attention whilst parking their biases and encouraging diverse opinions.

By harnessing the attentive skills of active listening with the power of genuine inclusion, leaders can deepen their listening skills to more ably address the complexities of work.

Intentional listening opens up the powerful possibilities of strong, pluralistic communication –

• Signals equal respect and care for diverse viewpoints

• Acknowledges the truth of subjective experience
  

• Builds genuine connection and collaboration

• Facilitates deeper, more nuanced understanding

• Allows for multiple perspective-taking

• Optimises novel and co-created solutions

• Minimises potential misunderstandings and blind spots

• Leads to more effective decision-making 

"We are stronger when we listen, and smarter when we share.”

Rania Al-Abdullah¹

12 tips on intentional listening

Intentional listening is a powerful leadership skill that can be cultivated with regular practice:

• Model pluralism

  Show diverse colleagues that they are respected and valued equally

• Take Epictetus' advice

  "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."

• Build rapport

  Invest in authentic connection whilst tackling the task at hand.

• Intentionally focus

  Decide to stay focused and listen generously

• Stop multi-tasking

  Put devices away, close other tabs during video calls

• Avoid interrupting

  Practice pausing before speaking

• Embrace active empathy

  Consider the other person’s perspective and feelings

• Curiosity is its own reward

  Look, act and be genuinely interested in others

• Use whole body listening

  Notice body language and facial expressions

• Be open to influence

  Catch when you have a pre-determined outcome in mind

• Ask clarifying questions

  Ask open questions to gain a deeper understanding

• Check as you go

  Rephrase key points to ensure you understand

^Source:

^{1. Banks, R. (2021) The Art of Active Listening: How to Listen Effectively in 10 Simple Steps to Improve Relationships and Increase Productivity} 

^{2. Egan, G & Reese R. (2019) The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping}